It all started when I was 17, when I had my first psychotic episode. Since then I’ve started 6 college courses only finishing 2, 1 with a bare pass due to a psychotic episode at 17. I’ve tried loads of jobs too with the longest one only lasting 7 months until I felt fed up with it.
I feel like I am only good enough for unskilled factory/ warehouse work, but I can never last more than a month doing them till I feel depressed and quit.
Recently This month I started an Open Uni degree in psychology but have already quit as I don’t think I am good enough to do it. I don’t have any idea what to do career wise, I thought about becoming a psychologist but obviously for me this is a fools dream for me because I have poor people skills due to crippling anxiety around people, which makes work no matter what it is hard as nails because I struggle with interacting with people.
Also I have no friends whatsoever, I have become sort of a recluse only going out of the house if I want to go shopping. I live with my parents and still depend on them to help me out financially as I am rubbish with money, and the little income I do get is from welfare, which makes me feel like scum especially when there is a plethora of programmes that I feel demonises people on benefits.
I want to work. But I only have 4 gcse’s at C level, a BTEC level 2 at pass and a motor vehicle level 1. I just don’t know what to do for work. I haven’t worked in a year either and when I have gone for interviews they look at my CV and see that I can’t stick jobs and then question why. I usually tell the truth and say my mental health has caused me problems but once you say that they run a mile, which to be honest I don’t blame them. I look so unemployable, but I really just want to find my passion but I have no idea what that is.