Hello emgem91, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are having really tough time, no wonder it has triggered a lot of stuff for you.
I don't have an answer, but you can only take things one day at a time. And listen to what your husband tells you, not what the voice in your head tells you. It is difficult to balance each others needs and I can hear the pain in your voice - but listen to what his needs are. Its also ok to tell him what you need too ie accept that he needs space and you live seperately, but can you still do a regulary date eg when you go for a walk and coffee together - as you need to see him as you love him and want to spend time together.
Are you still getting help - eg having CBT at the moment? Its now that you'll need all the coping strategies and support to help you get through things. So do go back and see the GP if you need to. What do you do in life? do you work? what hobbies do you have? occupying yourself is going to be really important.
Finally - it may have seemed like 10 mins at NYE, but you mention he has issues from his past so it sounds like it just got too much and overflowed. Its not his fault.
Not sure if any of this has helped
Sending hugs your way