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ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
cloquinn15
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:04 am

ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby cloquinn15 » Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:59 pm

Do you ever just want to scream and rip your hair out?!??? I’m like that right now! I’m really really struggling right now and not connecting with my partner the way I would like to like everytime I look at him I just want to punch him :lol:
Nah like I love him to pieces but he’s just not getting me right now. He’s never experienced half the things I have and he jumps to conclusions is actually very narrow minded around mental health and I seriously right now just need help!! How Can I get him to help!!!

amaya
Posts: 609
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby amaya » Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:54 pm

You can't get him to do anything. You can only ask if he will listen, and then explain and then ask him for help. But there isn't some special way to make someone do want you would like. And he may not want to listen, or understand.. but try to explain as good as you can, and a good tip is start statements with "When this happens I feel like...." but not "You are always making me feel...." Basically talk about yourself and ask for things and try not to make statements about your partner, especially if they sound accusatory. If you are angry say "I am feeling angry because...." rather than just sounding or acting angry. I hope this helps.

cloquinn15
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:04 am

Re: ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby cloquinn15 » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:43 am

I know I can’t but I would like him to have a bit of empathy towards me and towards the things I am going through but he has never experienced loss in such a way that I have and he doesn’t understand it. As I said he’s really quite narrow minded towards mental health and illness. When I’m having a down day and I tell him this he just thinks I’m in a bad mood or in a huff when in actual fact I’m screaming out for help and I need him to help me. I have explained this to him. We had a good chat tonight about the way I’ve been feeling and I feel like he listened to me. I have the doctors in the morning and have asked him to come with me to have an insight into what’s actually going on. This I feel is a step in the right direction

sirhugo
Posts: 189
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby sirhugo » Mon Dec 04, 2017 8:39 pm

unless people have had personal experience of mental health issues, they just dont get it in my opinion. You boyfriend probably doesn't really understand and is trying to minimize it.

i have depression myself and ive had it many times before. "chin up" is a common theme that people tell me. "there are much worse problems than yours" is another common one. neither of these attitudes are helpful. what i really want is for someone to understand and empathise. im guessing its the same for you

this is a great place to get your feelings out, because people here will actually get it. in the meantime it sounds like your boyfriend is making a better effort ot understand so hats off to him. hopefully he keeps it up.

much love

amaya
Posts: 609
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby amaya » Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:02 pm

That sounds like really awesome progress that he will come with you to an appointment.

Also, Mind the charity have a really good guide to mental health conditions which have sections for friends and family to read. Maybe you can show him that too and his education has begun. He will never know how it feels, but no one ever really knows exactly how someone else is feeling, at least he can try to get an intellectual understanding and learn what does and doesn't help you..
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-sup ... al-health/

rsxo
Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: ANDDDDDD BREATH!!!

Postby rsxo » Sat Dec 09, 2017 7:20 pm

Hi cloquinn5,

I think it's important to note that your source of support may not be your partner. It could be a friend, a therapist, or another source. But of course, it would help if they were. At the very least, they should respect your struggles and be able to comfort you, even if they don't understand what it is you're struggling withx

Much love <3
RSxo <3


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