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Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
erza
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Dec 06, 2019 4:19 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby erza » Fri Dec 06, 2019 4:37 pm

Hey guys. I’ve been experiencing the same thing with my boyfriend and I hate it.

Ok so, it all started when he told me he watched game of thrones, I got curious so I watched a couple of episodes and I noticed they had a lot of nudity in it with women showing off their boobs and ass and it just made me really uncomfortable imagining my boyfriend looking at other women, because to me, it’s not right. It doesn’t feel right, it feels like crap to be honest. And he’s already watched all of the seasons.

And so I talked to him about it and he told me whenever any sexual activity happened in the series he just found it awkward and didn’t bother with it and that he understands and won’t watch it ever again (the new season that’s coming out he won’t watch either.) he promised (not to mention this conversation happened while we were outside, we were just about to go into a huge shopping center to buy my engagement ring.) But I still can’t help to worry about it. For example when we’re outside in public I’m so afraid he’s going to look at other women. There have been a couple of times where he’s looked at the same direction that other women were at and so when I turn around it looks like he’s looking at other women and then he looks back at me immediately as if nothing happened. And then when I talked to him about it he told me he doesn’t even remember looking at other women and that he promises he didn’t do it. That he only have eyes for me and only me, and that he wants to spend his life with me and not some random woman. He also said that he’s never really been into women his whole life. He’s never watched porn EVER. And when he was younger his mates used to fool around with it, like put pornhub on in the classroom and stuff but when that happened it was too awkward to watch so he just looked away.

And he does seem like that kind of type too. I’ve known him my whole life so I know how he is as a person. I do feel like he’s telling the truth but I just can’t help but to still worry about it.

Another reason for why I’m worried is because I’m 1 month pregnant and we’re planning our whole future ahead and I’ve gained some weight (not a lot). Maybe that why I feel insecure when other women are around? I do have moments when we’re outwise where I feel 100% confident, sexy, beautiful and just fierce, but as soon as I see my boyfriend look at another woman’s direction, all of my confident and me feeling sexy, everything just disappears and I’m back to being me again. I just want to go back to being myself again (plus he told me he wasn’t even looking at the women/woman). I want to feel beautiful in my boyfriends eyes. And I do. He tells me I’m beautiful everyday. He helps me clean the house when I’m too exhausted to. He cooks food etc, and he really respects my wishes, but I’m SOO worried. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m tired of all these therapists telling me that’s how guys are etc. Like why does it always have to be women only? Why can’t there be a whole game of thrones with naked men instead, maybe that would teach all the guys a lesson about how we women feel when our partners watch porn or series or movies with nudity in them.

Any advice guys? I just don’t know what to do, and I’ve had several conversations that started with me thinking he was checking out other women when he wasn’t (or that’s what he told me) but then again why would he do all the other stuff for me if he didn’t love me? Maybe what he says is true? Maybe he really isn’t into other women or watchea porn or anything. But then again, that just feels like a dream rather than reality. :cry:

hyster
Posts: 227
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby hyster » Sat Dec 07, 2019 12:00 am

ezra, im a guy who has seen game of thrones and even i didnt like most of the sex scenes but it is a period drama where that kinda stuff probs happened that way.

for me a sex scene should be kissing , led to bedroom and then left to the imagination but i have noticed over the years (im 47) that the sex scenes are more explicit bordering on porn in some cases.

for most guys (im 90% sure im right) watching a sex scene means nothing, yh its hot but thats it, guys see things diff to girls that way.

girls love the romance scenes - guys love the physical side.
does girls loving the romance scenes mean they love the actor more than there partner ??

erza
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Dec 06, 2019 4:19 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby erza » Sat Dec 07, 2019 11:55 am

Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know what I was worrying for. Thank you so much :)

sophie94
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Sun Dec 15, 2019 11:02 pm

I know how you feel , its all about women these days women that etc its like we are all just for show and like if you dont look a certain way you wont be picked for that show. We not good enough,, all these women have make up artist hair styles lightening and cameras its all fske but no one sees it like that. Every time im having a bad day or feel shitty im like making remarks abouts adverts like oh yeah look a women advertising that oh yeah look how she has a full face of make up but shee just got out of bed etc. Its just shit. Sex should be between 2 people not exploited all over tele for the entire world to see. It wouldn't of been like that years ago! Why is it now! Mental health has risen massively and i really dont think anything like this is acceptable. Why should i or my partner see another person naked! Like why? We all know what sex is and how it works we dont need to see if on film! Yeah your right it should just be left behind doors and thats that.

caz16
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2019 5:06 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby caz16 » Fri Dec 20, 2019 5:16 pm

I feel exactly the same. It all started when during my 1st pregnancy at 23 yes old I felt very alone & unsupported by my then husband. Cut a long story short we went out for our first time since the birth of my son when he was 5 weeks old. I was breast feeding g so waS leaking from my boobs, felt very insexy & we were at their ema wat thing film which turned out uk be full of strippers in strip clubs. I had to walk out halfway through the film as it totally disgusted me. I'm 53 now & going through the menapause so again I'm feeling fat & old & unsexy. All these old feelings have come back to haunt me only this time I'm with a much better man so I dont want it to affect our relationship. Help!

lauren95
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 11:47 am

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby lauren95 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 12:03 pm

Ok ladies, like the rest of you I have made an account to reply.
I’m not sure if reading this forum has justified my actions and behaviour or just made me feel worse, I’m seeing some of you are 30+ saying the feeling doesn’t go away with time or with new partners or therapists! I’m lost and I can’t handle how it makes me feel, where do we turn what do we do? I’m 24 and have had the same problem for as long as I can remember, I have two children and a partner of 6 years, we have come across these tv programmes and films and not to underestimate my experiences it makes me feel CRAZY! I use parents guide to check out a film and I feel so disgusted in myself for not being ok with nudity in films, I get a cold flush from my face down my body when something unexpected comes on which then feels like I’m burning on fire with anger and then the upset sets in it all happens so fast and after I can’t sleep my brain just winds and winds until I’m down as low as I can go, my partner doesn’t help really as I’ve had many conversations with him they all end up with me feeling like a controlling a-hole and he gets angry now when something comes up but I k ow it’s not out of frustration with the nudity it’s the frustration of me, like he’s fed up and I understand he probably is but if he is my lord I AM!! He sits around at night time bored because he can’t be a-rsed to go through the effort of finding something suitable which makes me feel crap. Am I ruining myself and honestly my life, why does it feel like such and exaggeration to say this? When I know how awful and sick it makes me feel, I’m not ok with going on like this I’m breaking.

sophie94
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:48 pm

Hi Lauren

I am a similar age of you and its happened to me ever since my first bf of 2 years when i was 15. I kmow how and why mine started, do you know what yours could be ? Were in the same boat trust me. When it comes to a time of day and its 'lets put a film on', automatically i think oh no well have to find a film that's 'safe' it can take up to an hour and by the end of it i feel fed up, stupid, embarrassed and i give myself a head ache stressing about it. But its awful! Sometimes i think a film looks good oj a trailer or i like the look of it i just wish i could be brave and play it but no i cant cos like you if its unexpected and something's on that scares me and hurts me i shake soo bad, i feel hot and bothered, really sad and sometimes cry and throw things! Sometimes my bf can get frustrated which again is understandable he gets anxious watchimg anything not because if any nudity but because of me reacting! Am the same with anything like newspapers and tv after 9!, the thought of love island on again twixe!, nearly oushes me over the limited and i think of these situstuons thats happened through the day like something i dont think and i worry hes seen it and then i just make up a lot of stuff in my head so i ask questuond and reassurance from my bf which can then go into an argument. Its a bloody viscous circle!, i hate it. I hate myself mostly everyday cos this isnt who i shoild be,, i jusy wanna chill and put a film on but nope. And FYI i also use the parents guide your not the only one x

ericayes
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Oct 30, 2019 11:11 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby ericayes » Mon Jan 20, 2020 4:26 am

As far as I feel, this is like a severe phobia for me. So no ammount of men coming on this thread trying to rationalise things, will help. Just like I don't have ocd so I wouldn't join an ocd thread and try and talk people out of it. If I could calm myself I would. Trust me I've spent years trying to feel differently. I'm at the stage now where I'm close to just never watching TV, and avoiding all media. I am waiting for cbt as I'm told that's all they can offer me. I do have body dysmorphia and a history of domestic abuse so I feel these things have definitely contributed to me feeling like this. Women are so heavily sexualised every where. I can't escape it. It's also so normalised now. What a miserable existence. I hope everyone is OK.

sophie94
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:31 pm

Hello, hope your ok, what is cbd?, also im the ssme with the tv i get so wound upppp and so upset and scared and in edge avout the tele especially after 9pm!, even tv ads annoy me now all the tacky reality shows dont help! And i cant even put on music only the radio cos music videos are just the same sometimes worse everything is just hard :(

heyyyou
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:56 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby heyyyou » Fri Jan 24, 2020 3:25 pm

Hey everyone,

I hope everyone’s having a decent day. I came across this post awhile back when I was Googling all over the place what was wrong with me, why I thought this way, ect. I can only say I’m filled with tears to know I have people I can relate to, even if it’s just a couple— but sadden that we have to deal with this and don’t know a way out. I remember since childhood I just always felt weird about naked scenes in movies. Watching it with parents— of course, always and still is awkward. Other family and friends, awkward. Having a partner has only made it worse. My boyfriend was really sweet when it came to trying to understand where I was coming from and avoiding movies that made me feel that way. For sometime, it was good... but then I found him watching one behind my back and lying to me about it and currently I’m going through a break up. I don’t feel like my feelings are respected when it comes to this. He makes me feel like I’m insane for feeling this type of way. I even mentioned that I found others that feel the same way and he came out to say, “Now that you found other people like that, your going to think what you have is okay?” I understand that I have self issues, but at the same time I’m working on it and stuff like this just doesn’t help. I don’t need people in my life to make me feel stupid about this, I need people that try or fully understand and want to help me. I’m 24, going through a lot of things. This is tough you guys, but I encourage us all to keep going to therapy, to start working on the love we probably don’t have with ourself and doing other things that don’t consist of watching tv, movie’s, ect. I know there’s something out there that can help all of us live a sane life, I have faith all of us will find it.


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