Fresh air

[gabry]

I bought a bike a few months ago and I find it has given me lots of freedom to get out and about (weather permitting). I cycled up to a big church in town where there are a few seats and spied a little holly tree sprouting from a wall, which I snaffled together with a yew twig. Hopefully they'll grow now I've potted them up for bonsai. All my efforts die eventually but it's a pleasant pastime. Today's been quite warm with a slight breeze so it wasn't much effort. First time out, the day after I found I had to get out of bed without bending in the middle. But it's worth it, I've dropped a few pounds already. And I'm thinking of getting a rubber swimming ring so I can sit down lol

[christabel]

That sound as though it is going to benefit you in many ways gabry.

Will you keep us up to date with your expeditions.

Take care Chris

[gabry]

Hi Christabel,
I've been thinking about putting L plates on it as yesterday I was wobbling along at a snail's pace and these two young Bradley Wiggins wannabees came whizzing around the corner and I sort of wobbled into a hedge! I heard loud "sorrys" and when I looked back they were nearly falling off their own bikes laughing, but no harm done. I wasn't at all distracted by their bright skintight outfits. Much.
I'm lucky as this area is really flat, slightly uphill for two miles into town so coming home is brill, and there's a cycle path most of the way with about a quarter of a mile through a big park with a few seats so I can rest awhile and enjoy a slurpette and a fag (work in progress - I'm cutting down before the Final Quit). I bought a basket and some saddlebag type things so I can do a bit of shopping. I refuse to wear a helmet, my hair is really thin so helmet hair takes on a whole new meaning (I wear beanie hats a lot).
I'm in a good place at the moment and preparing to go back to work after 2 years off, hence the bike.
Anyway, I hope you're managing to get some sleep now and I'll definitely post about my explorations.
Mihaela, if you read this I hope things are going well for you. Likewise Isap, as well as possible x

[christabel]

What a picture you painted. I must say I have every admiration for you. Wobble or not you are still braver than me. Bikes and me fell out many years ago. Got the scar to prove it. Ha ha. Just be careful though going without a helmet. There was a very nasty accident just a couple of weeks ago in our county.

I am really pleased you are making good progress. I do think being able to get out and appreciate nature works wonder for our health. It is not long since we down sized and we have more of a garden so although it was in a reasonable state we are making it into a bit of a project planting etc.

Keep up the good work. X Chris.

There's a few people missing on Here at the moment. Which happens. I know what you mean when you wish them well. It's so hard at times.

[gabry]

Today has been crap. (Bear with me...) My flat-mate's ESA disqualification has meant my HB & C/Tax have been suspended as I reported it as a change of circs in Feb. Why don't councils advise about this? I found out when I got my bill this week. So, two phone calls later, paying arrears has taken up all my "back to work" fund. I just broke down, we've had 6 months of stability and I started work experience this week.
So, as a distraction I was going to plant some bulbs where I'd put some giant poppy plants (2" rooted stalks) I got from a £1 shop. I went out to look at the stalks and they were both dried and withered, so I pulled them out to use the pot for the bulbs, and one of the dead stalks had a tiny root growing. I just felt so uplifted for a moment and replanted it. Hopefully it'll grow and blossom alongside the bulbs.
Funny thing, things have sort of got back into perspective.

[christabel]

It is strange how something so simple can alter our mood. It is good if you can start by thinking about problems. " is this life threatening?" " Is anyone hurt?" "What is the worst outcome" It does start to make you put things into perspective and hopefully Think about the actions to take to help.

Things knock you for six when you are not feeling too good and problems arrive when you can't think. Adding more to a mind that has had enough.

You have been doing so well and there are bound to be hiccups along the way so be proud of coming so far. Having a wobble is ok.

You did right by distracting yourself. You will be able to watch the plant making progress with interest. Hope you get things sorted out so you can settle down to getting back to work. Let us know how you are doing.

X Chris

[gabry]

Hi Chris,
Thanks for the encouragement.
I've bought a crash helmet, though it makes me look like a WW2 GI! Wilko's had loads of lovely colourful kids' helmets - Thomas the Tank, Star Wars, Peppa Pig etc, but the only one for adults was black! I'm thinking of painting a skull and crossbones on the back in fluorescent paint, or maybe speed stripes... You mentioned wobbling, well I'm getting better and can take a bend now without the bike going one way and me the other haha!
The recent other wobble with the benefits suspension, well, I can't do owt about it so I'm sticking to the mindfulness, tai chi, exercise etc. (Hey, there's a parallel I just got - bikes + wobble, suspension & benefits - wobble, suspension. Nice one!)
I'm off down the jobcentre tomorrow and see what's afoot there - the computers are free to use for jobsearching. The work experience is going well - admin, though it feels like I've been chucked in at the deep end - from having lots of leisure time to being busy every day. If I go careful I think things are going to be just fine. Hopefully!
Anyway, as we're in The Garden, the bulbs are going in on Sunday and seeds (flowers/herbs) on Saturday.
Hope to meet you over the hedge soon, I'll put t'kettle on x
Are you sleeping any better?

[christabel]

You certainly made me smile gabry what a busy person you have been. Can't get the image out of my head of you and your new helmet. I think I might have been tempted with the peppa pig one.

Isn't life strange? I have just been trying the tai chi on you tube. I had heard it is good for calming and balance etc and then you mention it. Have you been doing it long?
I haven't got very good coordination but even so my lovely hubby still keeps a straight face and encourages me. Was Hoping it would help with the arthritis also.

I'm still not sleeping and I was feeling worse so I've had a day of chilling and had a bit of a rest this afternoon. Tiredness has a knock on effect. Incredible Hulk springs to mind.

Hope it went well at jobcentre. I would love to see you over the hedge for a cuppa. You are not the chap next door to us in disguise are you. Managed a good stubble if you are.

Take care x Chris

[gabry]

Hi Chris,
No, I'm definitely not the chap next door. I'd be rather worried if I developed a stubble as I'm female in my mid-50s. (If he wears sparkly nail varnish, is a bit weird and dresses in long flowing tops, I've got a doppelganger haha) Mind you, I never know what side effects might develop I'm on so many pills! My real name's Sheila, Gabry is a character my flat-mate created for the many stories she writes on fanfiction story telling website. I just liked the name.
The jobcentre went well, I applied for a couple of jobs - cleaner and admin. It took all my courage to go in!
Tai chi is really good for arthritis, just take it very slowly. I've been doing it for about 3 years, there are various series of movements, I'm just learning the yang short form. I started with slo-flo, a Christian form of tai chi (American of course!) as Eastern meditation etc were discouraged by the church I went to. I don't go any more. Tai chi is good for balance and general health.
I had sleeplessness a few months ago - the worst thing in the world. I tried all the usual things, but what worked for me was getting rid of the duvet and using just ordinary blankets and having the window open (unless it's blowing a gale). I also started sleeping the other way around - head at the bottom (as it was) as this meant my head was nearer the window and I got more fresh air. I do realise this may cause splutters of protestation from your husband finding your toes in his ear ... shutting up.
On Saturday I'm off on the bike exploring - there's a bed of 100s of daffs at the churchyard I sit in, so I'll take a pic and post it - they're just coming into bloom. I'm also going into the woods at the back of the park - there's deer, foxes and loads of birds but I go for the trees. Though I haven't hugged one yet!
I really hope you get some deep sleep soon x

[christabel]

My goodness I can not believe the resemblance there is to you and the chap next door. The nails and clothes and the stubble. Wait till you hit your sixties and you will know about stubble. Haha. The little beggars sprout out all over.

Well done for managing the job centre. It is hard sometimes just the anticipation of doing something. Afterwards I wonder what was I so worried for.

I have been managing to get out, after many years of being trapped by fear of travelling on public transport I can now manage without any real bother at all. Now I have a problem going anywhere with more than a few people where I might be asked to speak up in front of everyone. I'm afraid I felt embarrassed by a slimming group leader who singled me out more than once very unproffessionally.

It sounds a lovely place where you live. Getting back to nature is one of the best things for your mental health so they are saying. We are lucky in only living minutes from the coast and a just a short ride to countryside with a lovely riverside. We visited our son today and the wind was biting so we will get out more when it warms up.

I can't have the window open in bedroom yet as hubby can not stand any cold. I have seen adverts for weighted blankets especially for anxiety but hubby thought I would not like them because of me getting too hot. More often than not I will end up on the couch. It's not as though I go to bed with a head full of thoughts.

I will definitely have a look at the tai chi that you mentioned. Do you follow it on the internet or have you a DVD or suchlike.
Have a good ride out over the weekend. Hope the weather's ok. I will keep my fingers crossed for your job prospects. Best wishes. X Chris