I think the reason I find it hard to 'look to the lord' is that I find Christians and the Bible full of contradictions.
God choses people, why? why them? why not Fred Bloggs etc?
God intercedes but not always, why?
I have a lot of Whys.
I also struggle with the extremes in the Christian faith, those who to me are just bigoted, they are anti Abortion, anti LGBT etc
I was a church goer from 15 years old to 40, I'm not anymore and I'm now 52, I gave a lot of my life to something that I never really got my head around
I'm currently going to 'Life Explored' with a friend who invited me, as I respect that friend I'm attending these sessions but everything still seems full of contradictions for me.