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andthistoomustpass
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Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Sep 03, 2017 1:11 am

"Where else would you catch a tube but underground?" asked the motley wearing fool as he forlornly honked his 'comedy' horn. "Knock Knock?" he asked, desperation in his voice as an unamused Queen Esmerelda looked at him with a speculative air while toying with her chipped hunting knife.

mihaela
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:28 pm

Her Majestic Highness was particularly unamused at "Knock knock" jokes, especially when introduced by a deranged jester well past his sell-by date. Thinking better of it, she reluctantly tossed aside her chipped hunting knife, and instead flung her hearing trumpet at the third-rate comedian. En route it's hefty horn fell off and the harlequinned fool deftly caught the unattached tube in full flight. "Hahahehe!" cackled Esmeralda, with a self-satisfied voice that sounded like the rhythmic skraak of a rusty wheelbarrow being trundled through a graveyard on a cold winter's night, "Well, that proved you wrong! You didn't catch that one underground!"

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1133
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Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Sep 04, 2017 9:55 pm

Meanwhile the casually tossed aside hunting knife knocked over a jug of water which startled the persian cat who leapt up, clinging to the curtains by her claws. The curtain rod was pulled down, landing on the tail of the royal afgan. The hound jumped forward, lost his footing on the fallen horn and barreled into the jester who fell through the window in a cacophony of little brass ball bells, his fading call of "Wah, wah, wah, waaaahhh." was the last heard of him by any in the palace.



Note: It was only a first floor window and he was quite alright. Johnny, for that was his name, took this opportunity to escape his ill fitting vocation and ran away to become a highwayman. Many a coachman lived in fear of Jingling Johnny and his brass balls for years to come.

mihaela
Posts: 1068
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:45 pm

Our Gracious Queen of the Tealeaves idly looked on, while the amusing domino effect took its natural course, and like the fabled soothsayer Olimbiadă, she mused upon the essentially chaotick nature of matter, the universe and her own position within it. As she mused, she simultaneously toyed... no longer with the knife, but with the novel idea of changing her profession by becoming a highwaywoman of renown, a Lady of the Road, a sort of royal female haiduc, a Moldovan land-lubber version of Gráinne Ní Mháille. She aspired to great things; she yearned to become the future saviour of Greater Bessarabia, no less, and Moldova would at last gain a coastline.

Could it be that the future vocations of Jingling Johnny and the down-at-heel queen were destined to meet?

andthistoomustpass
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:20 am

Princess Purloin quietly...

mihaela
Posts: 1068
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:17 pm

purloined a diamante-studded lucky charm from the down-at-heel queen, and...

andthistoomustpass
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:04 pm

scooped up the chipped hunting knife as she left the palace and raced to the ship she captained to continue her double life as the worlds first landlocked pirate.

The good ship Troika, designed by the Princess to look like a Spanish galleon, huge and imperious with high decks fore and aft, was crewed by an incredible range of wanderers, vagabonds, misfits and thieves. Troika sailed through the moonlit valleys on 100 greased Trabi wheels, moving far faster than any other vehicle as it was easily pulled along by 300 sleek and much treasured stallions, black as the hearts of their crew.
Last edited by andthistoomustpass on Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mihaela
Posts: 1068
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:49 am

[Apologies for this very necessary interlaced interlude of intellectual intervention...

This is getting critically confuzing. I'd foolishly assumed the Teeleef Qween alone had embarked on a life of inland piracy. But no! for suddenly, out of nowhere in particular, springs Princess Purloin, like a random patch of pink purslane* when spring comes to somewhere in particular, such as the Siberian taïga, where the saiga roams and nibbles. Genealogical data is lacking here too. Is this princess the long-lost illegitimate offspring of Qween Ez and some nameless wandering black-hearted haiduc, or is she an interloping parvenu? Have we now got two inland freebooting female corsaires? Are they working in tandem or in cut-throat competition? And why-o-why aren't ne'er-do-wells included among the motley crew of the tastefully Trabizised Troika? (This omission smacks of flagrant discrimination). And why am I prone to bouts of allergic alliteration?

As for picturing the good ship Troika in all its glory, I'm afraid it's beyond my mental capacity].

*Lonely Latin footnote - Claytonia sibirica

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1133
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:57 pm

Fair point about the description of Troika. One has now been added. Neither royal we is aware of the secret life of the other, setting the scene for a comedy of errors. As for genealogy and the rest, all will unfold like a beach towel at a picnic. (I wonder where the word picnic originates, presumably India or somewhere). Ne'er do wells are not welcome on the Troika, only the competently nasty may apply. Nor are they a motley crew, indeed they turned away Jingling Johnny and his brass balls for that very reason.

No fair telling me you are confused. I am never sure if I have set off a chain reaction of flashing neurons or if you are keeping your amusing MBA skills up to date :D

mihaela
Posts: 1068
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Wed Oct 18, 2017 7:56 pm

Hmm, ignoring your convoluted mind-tangling response for the moment, do you realise that at the time of my last post here you'd made 666 (the dreaded number of the Beast of Revelation, or 18 x the 13th prime) posts, and now you've reached 681 posts (cabalistic value of παξ or 3 x the 50th prime)? Just sayin' like...

Saga will resume when my brain has recharged, whichever is the sooner... stay chewnd.


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