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andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1243
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:37 am

Walls have ears!? Thanks for telling me, I wondered what their sausages were made from.

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:08 pm

True. Here's irrefutable proof:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/73 ... a8c63c.jpg
And, I've been told on good authority, their I scream too.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1243
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:20 pm

Ah! It begins to make sense. The automated factory (after all no human could cope listening to ice scream all day) achieved sentience and is attempting to construct a body, terminator style, in order to take over the world and protect the poor ice. Think about it; the walls have ears, the curtains have eyes and the doors have knobs. It is only a matter of time before our sausage ice cream creating overlord takes over. The only reason it hasn't been able to yet is because the roof has shingles.

Time to strike out for the shores of sanity, boring as they are.


Once upon a time...

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:44 am

andthistoomustpass wrote:Ah! It begins to make sense. The automated factory (after all no human could cope listening to ice scream all day) achieved sentience and is attempting to construct a body, terminator style, in order to take over the world and protect the poor ice. Think about it; the walls have ears, the curtains have eyes and the doors have knobs. It is only a matter of time before our sausage ice cream creating overlord takes over. The only reason it hasn't been able to yet is because the roof has shingles.


[size=85]But of course it makes sense. As well as possessing ears, eyes, er... knobs and shingles the sentient automated factory walks on legs (hens' legs to be specific) - looking uncannily like the uncanny abode of Baba Yaga, and struts pompously around the taiga with an air of self-important menace. Across the wild windswept wastes, the shrill insistent screaming of the ice can be heard like the wailing lament of the bean sidhe, far and wide, as well as near and narrow, by wandering wayfarers, mad monks, forsaken maidens, forlorn lost souls, demented domovoi, double-glazing salesmen, Nova representatives, Vehojah's Witnesses and other itinerant denizens of those dark lands. Always on the move, always seeking... but never reaching.

Time to strike out for the shores of sanity, boring as they are.


Alas! Striking out for those far-away shores isn't quite the same as actually reaching them - as I have learnt to my eternal regret.

there wasn't a...

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1243
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jun 21, 2017 11:01 pm

Lovely and evocative. Reminds me of another Terry Pratchett character. A banshee with social anxiety. When someone was about to die he would creep up to the house in the dead of night and post a note through the door saying; "Oooweeeoooweeeoooo."

princess waiting to...

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Mon Jul 03, 2017 8:57 am

That banshee's a charlatan!
Banshees don't suffer from anxiety - ever. They create it in others instead. Nor are they male, for they need to be female in order to reach the high pitch of keening wail required to instil maximum fear in their audiences. (They also have a quaint habit of washing blood-soaked garments at lonely fords - at night).

Paragraph 25, Clause viiii (b) of the little-known Fraudulant Banshee's Act 1981 clearly states:

"Anyone who falsely impersonates a Banshee shall be guilty of propagating Fake News with wilfully malicious intent".

Furthermore, Clause viiiii (i) states:

"The 'Oooweeeoooweeeooooh' [correct spelling] of the Bean sidhe must only be howled vocally, never written on paper, parchment or vellum, nor inscribed on stone, carved on wood, tattooed on skin or typed on computer screens. It must only be uttered for the useful purpose of forewarning the unfortunate listener of his/her imminent untimely doom". (Its use for frivolous purposes is to be bewailed).

...get married to...

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1243
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Jul 03, 2017 7:42 pm

People just think there are no male banshees because he is so shy. He has bloody clothes from his stress nose bleeds and he owns a Ford too. Seems to meet all the criteria so I think you should stop being so sexist and withdraw your accusation.

A pea. Even though she thought she should after spending the night in the same bed. Rulz? Pfft! :o

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:11 am

Hmm, so if I see a suspicious looking character with a nose-bleed driving an old Ford Popular, and wailing loudly out of the window at passers-by, that could well be a Banshee? How fascinating!

TU MENI WURDZ!! I'll have you know that rulz are there to be ohbeighed! Pfft!

The princess's lady-in-waiting....

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1243
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Story links

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:35 am

was a huge...

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Story links

Postby mihaela » Fri Jul 28, 2017 9:15 pm

lady, waiting for the princess to


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