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Jokes

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deb1960
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby deb1960 » Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:45 pm

A woman falls down and knocks her head. She dreams that she's dead. God says, 'No you've not died. If you look after yourself you'll live to a good age'.

When she comes round she looks at herself. She's very overweight, her hair is long and straggly, she hasn't exercised for years.

So, she diets, exercises, has her hair cut, styled, dyed. Gets a makeover, a manicure and buys chic clothes. She's just coming out of a fashion boutique when she gets knocked down and dies.

She says to God, 'You said I'd live to be a good age'.
God replies, 'Oh I am sorry, I didn't recognise you'.

adminion
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 1:37 am

Re: Jokes

Postby adminion » Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:26 am

Knock knock!

mezzaninedoor
Posts: 1011
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2015 5:27 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby mezzaninedoor » Sun Mar 20, 2016 2:00 pm

HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha !!!!

Anyone know any good kindle joke books? I'm rubbish on jokes .............

jama80
Posts: 32
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:39 am

Re: Jokes

Postby jama80 » Sun Mar 27, 2016 4:24 am

My girlfriend broke up with me becourse of my obsession.
she said, " I'm sick of it " you actually believe your a transformer, it's stupid , I've had enough and I'm leaving you!.
I said , "but baby I can change "
She said, " there you go again "

deb1960
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby deb1960 » Sun Mar 27, 2016 8:38 am

Very good x

christabel
Posts: 1946
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Jokes

Postby christabel » Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:53 pm

Sad news that the inventor of predictive text has died.

His funfair is a week come monkey. ;)

deb1960
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby deb1960 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:20 pm

I like that one Chris x

francesca-alice
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:54 am

Re: Jokes

Postby francesca-alice » Tue Oct 10, 2017 9:32 am

Why do cows have hooves?
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Because they lactose

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Jokes

Postby mihaela » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:36 pm

Hehe, very good! :D

One evening just outside Chișinău two elderly peasants were chatting.
"My bees are busy in the park gathering nectar" said Loredana.
"But the gates are closed now. They'll have to wait all night until they're unlocked in the morning!" said Florin shocked.
"Shh! Don't tell anyone, but there's a knot-hole in the fence. My bees aren't stupid!"

sirhugo
Posts: 336
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby sirhugo » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:51 pm

whats green, has 6 legs and it fell from a tree it would kill you?







a snooker table :D


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