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by james80
Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:19 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed boyfriend is emotionally flatlining
Replies: 13
Views: 1416

Re: Depressed boyfriend is emotionally flatlining

So sorry to hear what you are gping through. Obviously with your background you know what's going on. Probably far more than is usual with someone who initially finds themselves in this position. As you know these sort of situation don't often have happy endings...but some do! Reading your post a fe...
by james80
Tue Apr 03, 2018 12:19 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

It's been interesting looking at CCs situation as it does have some parallels to mine in the way it's occurred at least (although we didn't row) and it's allowed me to look at my own situation a bit more dispassionately. I've not been angry with her through this really as I've made so many allowance...
by james80
Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:28 am
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

Sounds like you are on the way to recovery. It's a really hard process. The close emotional connection is something a lot of people notice in relationships with people with depression etc. That is what baffles you isnt it? How can ypu be so close to someone at one point then suddenly so distant? So ...
by james80
Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:01 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

The hardest thing is that there is no way of knowing. She may move on. But she may come back. But if you push her right now (and I know how easy it is to do that I think every one of us on this thread or the other did the same) she will rub a mile and even if she does regain her feelings it might ma...
by james80
Mon Apr 02, 2018 5:29 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

You need to stop messaging her. You can't get her to change her mind and at the moment all you are doing is proving to her that she is right to push you away. I know it's hard but I honestly advise you just leave her alone for a while. In the meantime read up on deprrssion. Read up on Anhedonia. The...
by james80
Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:01 am
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

I've been there mate! I remember when my ex untagged herself from every photo we were on together on Facebook. Felt unnecessary and quite hurtful. Particularly as there were other photos from the same.nights she kept. Like she was airbrushing me from her history! It's not usual behaviour, given the ...
by james80
Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:36 am
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

Reading your story again and the fact that there were a few minor periods of her shutting down over the last few months I wonder whether she will come back and leave a few more times? Quite often there is this sort of push pull behaviour. I'm quite glad in a way that my ex didn't do this to me, she ...
by james80
Sat Mar 31, 2018 11:47 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

That's the thing I find hardest to understand as well. In all my dating experience I've never seen or experienced a loss of feelings so quick. It just doesn't happen. It makes yoy question everything and my self esteem tool a hit because of it (maybe she never loved me?) But it also keeps this blood...
by james80
Sat Mar 31, 2018 4:19 am
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

Don't worry we've all been at that desperation stage. Reaching out wont help at all. This isnt a normal break up. All the stories you read are subtley different but one thing seems common- the relationship feels different for the first months. Deeper, more meaningful, more exciting. I have a theory ...
by james80
Fri Mar 30, 2018 6:07 pm
Forum: Family, Friends and Carers
Topic: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship
Replies: 29
Views: 1592

Re: Depressed girlfriend has ended our relationship

These are all things that frequently occur when it's depression. I'd not be surprised if that's what is happening here. . She feels fine around friends but not around you because there is a different weight of expectation between friends and a partner. It doesnt mean you've done anything. None of th...

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