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by andthistoomustpass
Mon Dec 09, 2019 1:29 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry The worst of the recurring nightmares I mentioned in my previous post was sorted by working through it in counselling but that opened the door to new, if less weighty, nightmares. Went back on the meds yesterday. I've noticed good and bad in being off the meds but my mood is definitely o...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:15 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

So, being med free has been interesting. My mood did dip for a while and I was going to return to the pills. Stayed off for another week and I started to stabilize. Stabilized lower than par but stable all the same. Some things seem easier because I am more grounded, easier to do the little things, ...
by andthistoomustpass
Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:00 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry I went cold turkey on my head-meds a little over two weeks ago. Don't have anything against meds. Was feeling trapped / stuck and figured shaking up my brain chemistry may help. I feel more stable but suspect my mood is creeping down. I want to continue to monitor this and get back on th...
by andthistoomustpass
Wed Oct 23, 2019 12:56 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

I will get hammered or eat pizza to feel free for a night, Well, that was an interesting choice of words. I'm toying with the idea that I feel trapped by everything, by life itself. That I am not so much looking for an escape as for release. I suspect some re-framing of some of my basic premises in...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:51 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

My last diary entry was about what I want and self sabotage. This entry is about the inner emptiness that sucks the joy from me into a vacuum that can never be filled. I have changed my life massively over the past 8 years. I have a good job, a home, I have made friends, I make new friends, I get in...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:19 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry What do I want? I want a relationship. I want more friends. I want more experiences I want to be as healthy as I can be for as long as I can be. I know what I need to do to improve my life, I know how to do it and I am capable of it but that fear of a different type of life, a different ...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:15 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry A few weeks ago I realised the bulk of my difficulties in going to sleep are not anticipation anxiety but fear of the vulnerability of being asleep and defenseless. Been exploring that fear and it has been tough. Fear and anxiety are now much more present 24/7. It is necessary to continu...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:09 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry Took a day off work a couple of weeks ago. I have never slept well and recently been relying on caffeine to get through each day. Caffeine is a good, quick impact, mitigatior but it makes the overall situation worse by making sleep harder and leaving me really tense after a few days use....
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Aug 25, 2019 10:24 pm
Forum: Newbies Room
Topic: Severe depression and suicidal feelings
Replies: 1
Views: 2289

Re: Severe depression and suicidal feelings

Hi Susanna So sorry to read your story. I wonder if the article here https://psychcentral.com/lib/narcissistic-mothers/ rings any bells? The thought that helps me at the worst times is that I know from experience that they will pass. I know I will find fun and joy again one day. I know that my exper...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Aug 25, 2019 10:10 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 448
Views: 207610

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Was waiting in for a delivery all day yesterday, sleep problems left me too tired to do much of anything aside from Netflix, overslept today. Too long inside on my own, feeling it sap my mood. I have done a little cleaning and tidying, doesn't sound like much unless you know chronic depression but a...

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