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A special kind of tiredness

Some people have a particular sense of tiredness or exhaustion that is hard to describe. It can be felt in the body, even in the absence of physical exertion.

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Suicidal person point of view

“Throughout all my depression I’ve always been able to be okay for other people. But I couldn’t do it any more, I just couldn’t. And they kept saying to me: ‘What is it, what is it?’ I’m going: ‘I’m just so tired.’ That’s all I kept saying: ‘I’m so tired.’ For ages. And they were going: ‘But why?’ And I couldn’t explain what that meant, I just knew that I was so tired. And I wanted peace, I wanted some peace. And [suicide] was the only way. If I could have gone and got some anaesthetic, I swear to God (laughs) I would have taken it and induced a coma.” 

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Suicidal person point of view

“Throughout all my depression I’ve always been able to be okay for other people. But I couldn’t do it any more, I just couldn’t. And they kept saying to me: ‘What is it, what is it?’ I’m going: ‘I’m just so tired.’ That’s all I kept saying: ‘I’m so tired.’ For ages. And they were going: ‘But why?’ And I couldn’t explain what that meant, I just knew that I was so tired. And I wanted peace, I wanted some peace. And [suicide] was the only way. If I could have gone and got some anaesthetic, I swear to God (laughs) I would have taken it and induced a coma.” 

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Family/friend point of view

“You would just see her getting more, as time went on, she'd be getting more and more tired and more drained. Like the effort of keeping it all together was getting too much for her and then she would kind of start to slowly withdraw within herself.  She would start to spend evenings curling up in front of the TV not really talking with anyone. And then you'd really notice it about her eyes too, like her eyes just became duller and more lifeless as time went.”