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Seeking reassurance

One aspect of losing trust is losing trust in one's self. This may mean losing confidence in one's ability to be a good person and fulfil a role, or losing confidence in one's ability to work.

People may thus seek reassurance, often repetetively, from others. This can be difficult for those around them, who may think their worries are out of proportion.

'They couldn't understand why he needed this reassurance.'

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Suicidal person point of view

“I looked to my husband for re-assurance and he helped me but I felt like a pale version of myself. I lost all confidence somehow... At work I started to doubt my decisions and my actual work too.  I would check everything again and again before I would send it out. I asked my husband to check things I had done continually. I remember calling him upstairs one afternoon keen to show him I had managed to iron the kids’ uniforms and hang them up. Ridiculous looking back but it was important to me to do a good job in every area still.”

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Suicidal person point of view

“I looked to my husband for re-assurance and he helped me but I felt like a pale version of myself. I lost all confidence somehow... At work I started to doubt my decisions and my actual work too.  I would check everything again and again before I would send it out. I asked my husband to check things I had done continually. I remember calling him upstairs one afternoon keen to show him I had managed to iron the kids’ uniforms and hang them up. Ridiculous looking back but it was important to me to do a good job in every area still.”

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Family/friend point of view

“At school he'd driven some of the teachers mad because he was forever asking for feedback: 'Am I OK? Am I doing this right?' More so than he should have done because he was a straight A student, and they couldn't understand why he needed this reassurance. At work he was finding that he couldn't work without the boss saying almost hourly or every couple of hours: 'Yes, you're doing OK’.”