I have had feelings of insecurity and isolation for most of my life but now feel unable to live the life I want. I had a wild youth but tried to fit in and married and had children but that ended in divorce due to my state of mind and my inability to cope with the realities of family life. I returned to education at thirty six and managed to gain a degree and became a teacher which made me feel like a valuable member of society again. However, after a few years of teaching I suffered a breakdown and lost all self-esteem and went through deep depression and self-loathing which eventually led to my losing my job after eight years of teaching. I have struggled financially and emotionally ever since and have felt like a failure as a worker and parent to my children ever since. I have never been able to share these feelings before but am now in the process of losing my home and having to move away from my family and this has made me feel even worse. I know that I should just make the best of things and move forward in a positive way but am so bogged down in my feelings of inadequacy that I have little motivation or willpower to help myself. I love my family and a few friends but not myself and just want to feel that there is hope at the end of the tunnel for me.