Support CharitySANE on:


Your stories

diagnosis of adopted children

12 years ago, my husband and I adopted two beautiful toddlers, a boy and a girl with very different temperaments. The girl, my daughter, was mercurial from the start demanding attention and demonstrating if she didn't get it. Biting.nipping and scratching herself and others all continued into early schooL years and beyond. Because of her mischeivous nature and,finding her behaviour difficult, teachers often(by their own admission) used her as a scapegoat. By the age of 6 her moods were such that they flipped like a switch from overexcited to tantrums where kicking and screaming were the norm, but the change was so exaggerated it was,and still is,like living with two completely different children. The school she was attending at the time had an early intervention unit and as they were beginning to recognise the behaviour was a little more than destructive ,which she had demonstrated by cutting her own lip with scissors during class and self induced vomiting, gained her a place, here they suggested she may have ADHD but all attempts to get a diagnosis were thwarted as soon as *adoption* was mentioned. Eventually an educational psychologist was brought in but due to her very high intelligence levels displayed during the tests and impecable behaviour in her prescence.. a few sessions of therapy were offered but we were placed on a waiting list and further appointments were never forthcoming. Approaching teen years it became apparent to us that she was self harming, though she always had an alternative explaination a fascination with fire and setting things alight or cutting things up with scissors , even arming herself with a knife when confronted by bullying again brought the attention to schools and CAMHS but again the adoption was a barrier to a diagnosis. It has taken a recent spate of suicide attempts, threats on myself and serious cutting episodes to finally bring things to the point where someone would listen (she now is regularly attending CAMHS...) and believe that there was a more serious underlying health problem, which has made me realise there may be more families struggling to get much needed help , because adoption is an easily explicable reason for children *acting out*, and wished to share my experiences so others may be inspired to seek further help and advice.