as above, my life is pretty fine.... usual money kids worries.

i love my flat, surrounded by treasured things collected over the years,
i loved my job, [that is until 4 weeks ago when i had to resign cos i couldnt
cope with the depression], i have wonderful children and fantastic, supportive
friends

due to recent meds changes ive suffered low low moods for weeks now, i ask
the professionals how much longer? they look at the screen n quote my next
appt with a colleague of theirs, and the next one does the same then the next one
....... i have a lot of contact with the out of hours services, too much, they all contradict
each others advice, and leave it up to me.... i have to write myself a note to wash myself,
and this lot expect me to be in control and increase and decrease four different heavy
duty lots of medications?????

as above all is fine, except most nights i have the overwhelming desire to end my life.
my normal coping strategy is overmedicating or helplines.

i have glimpses of my spirit but cannot grab it, im sure things will work out as they say,
but im 49 now and have felt like this since i was 13, how many more years do i have to wait??

kasskaa11