so i spent ten years as a depressive in hiding i knew what was wrong with me but i was recluctant to admit it to anyone let alone my doctor i thought i could cope on my own . boy was i wrong ignoring it made it get worse it turned into a major hurricane welling inside of me i couldnt function properly i ended up trying to kill myself and that was when i realised i needed help. i was always raised to do things myself dont rely on anyone u can only trust yourself so telling the doctor was real hard for me infact i barely spoke a word she took one look at me and said u ready to let me help u now, she had known alot longer than i had what my problem was. i was grateful dont get me wrong i was crying like a baby tears and snot everywhere i shuld of felt shame but i didnt i felt relief finally i was ready to talk about it. she gave my antidepressants and referred me for talking therapies and i can safely say if it wasnt for the help she gave me i would be dead right now... lifes not easy its not easy being a mum a wife someone who suffers with major depression disorder but its a dam lot easier now i have support.. five months ago we found out my daughter has physcotic depression she suffers with hearing things and hallucinations she has attempted to kill herself three times and self harms alot because the hallucinations tell her too, she is currently in a mental health hospital and it kills me to leave her there even though i know its where she needs to be right now. my depression is nothing in comparison to what my girl is going through, im the only one who understands her and can calm her down when she starts hallucinating. dont get me wrong the nurses try but they dont know what to do with her most of the time.
all i wana do is hug my girl and tell her everything will be fine but i cant because i dont know that it will be.
so i say to all of u out there no matter what u suffer with and how hard life gets just remember theres always someone worse of than u, hold ur children family and loved ones close because life is shorter then u think and always tell them u love them u never know when or if u will get a chance to say it again. dont take anything for granted. we are taking each day at a time and trying to remain alive best we can xxx