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Posted by Amyc1990
28th Feb 2015

So as I sit here, in my hospital bed, after having minor surgery, it gives me plenty of time to contemplate life. A funny thing for a 24 year old to want to do. However few 24 year olds have had as many strange experiences of life as me. Not to say I am unique, there are sadly many like me, I am however just different from most.

I think about how dissociation and self harm is ruining my life. I think about ways I can stop this from taking over and I feel bleak. I am scraping around in the dark for an answer to my struggles but as usual I cannot think of what I can do. Bar being locked up again in a secure unit where I have no option but to cease self harming.

However thankfully I am not sectioned and I am not going into a secure ward, I am going into an open ward for a short respite admission. But what are my goals for the admission? I think I need to think of some before I go there (in two hours) so I have a plan. To stabilise myself and get back on track with my life. Therapy work etc I long to get back to those normal everyday things without having troubles everyday.

I wish for a "normal" life, but what is normal? I just don't know but no self harm, dissociation, voices and hospitals would be a good start.

I know the hospital I am going to and I am looking forward to receiving some support from the excellent staff there. I hope it will help, but not sure how long I will be there as it is a crisis intervention.

I will update my progress with daily blogs, just to keep me on track, even if they are of no interest to others, which I fear they are not. Stay strong everyone!

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