The Virus
Posted by
3rd Dec 2014

Triber May has shared with us her beautiful poem which shines a light on the crippling nature of mental ill-health and the efforts one can go to when trying to hide mental illness in a chaotic world.

I will move when the darkness leaves,
It’s been so long but I’m too scared to breathe, 
My mind feels fragmented as this virus feeds.
Simple thoughts are now tangled up with these vicious weeds,
A single action causes a rippling tide,
Why does it feel as though, I have the devil by my side.

They tell me it’s been a week since I enjoyed seeing the world,
Every time I try and push myself free,
I become more intertwined with these roots that bind me.
Months pass and it still has a hold, of my light, my joy, confidence and soul, 
It devours every essence as the poison takes me whole.
How many friendships has this virus cost?
They won’t understand that I feel completely lost.

I try and keep my head held high, 
Fake a smile and a brave face though a lie. 
I feel at times like I’m losing this fight,
a will of fortunes and the spin has taken my light.

Outside the sounds and colours are so loud, 
Feels like I’m silently screaming through this crowd.
Occasionally I get days when my head is crystal clear, 
Although it doesn’t take long until I am engulfed with fear.

I feel angry and guilty for feeling this way,
Takes me a while to find the words to say.
my mind feels altered and becomes so slow,
Oh please help me, I feel so low.

My heart aches heavy as my tears uncontrollably flow, 
If these scars were visible it would be easier to show.
My own mind has caused me to change,
into someone who is bitter, scared and caged.
These changes in mind are all so strained, 
I always end up feeling emotionally drained.

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