OCD, anxiety and me
Posted by mjwest94
20th Oct 2014

Its hard to know where to begin. Its been so long that so much has happened. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 15, depression when I was 16 and into a psychiatric unit for a long 6 months, after. Since the diagnosis of OCD, my life literally turned upside down. Starting with the unit I went into - it was hard at first to accept where I was and to adapt to the daily routine of life in there. It was hard going and I only got worse that when I came out, I felt so much worse that what I did going in. I did learn some things along the way, coping strategies, different thinking styles and new perspectives of different things, but generally I wasn't 'better', cured or remotely sane. Life after the unit was lonely, I was mostly home alone with nothing but my intrusive thoughts and compulsions to keep me company. I hate being alone, even now, its hell. I made several suicide attemps which resulted in nothing but more torture for myself. I didn't know whether I really wanted to die, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I felt worthless, hopeless, utterly miserable. To be continued...

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