Posted by
26th Jul 2014

I'm lucky really. I read so many blogs and forum posts from people suffering with depression who have had to give up work.
I love my job. It keeps me sane. I struggle to get out of bed each weekday morning but I know that working takes my mind off things and when I'm there, I soon forget that I'm ill.
Now work is becoming like an obsession. I'm the first one there in the morning, I stay behind for hours after I'm supposed to finish. I never take my holidays and I hate weekends. Because when I'm not working, the depression takes hold. I lay in bed and imagine getting up and going about a daily routine; maybe plan to meet friends or actually physically do something. But in reality, I'm just lying there like a big heavy lump of nothing.
Today was sunny and everyone had plans. I ignored my phone, kept the blinds closed and lay in my bed. My biggest achievement was doing a load of laundry and, for the first time in about a month, cooking a meal rather than ordering one.
I know I'm lucky because I can still work, but if that's all I can do, then what am I even working for?

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