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Derealization.
Posted by itshannahsday
23rd Jun 2014

This morning i woke up and everything wasnít real.
I was watching my world, my surroundings, through a screen in my head, so detached that my own home feels like new to me. Like what i was witnessing was through back to front binoculars.
E v e r y t h i n g. s e e m e d. s o. f a r. o f f, too far away to touch, to grasp, to hold, to know if i where really living among the setting.
I reach out, and my hand touches the glass: there was no waging space between, i need not take the extra steps, nor walk the exaggerated mile, nor break through the invisible screen of lost reality to glass sitting in front of me. Itís just there, and i know this, but i canít get pass the lost weight over my feet, these invisible threads attaching you to this earth is lost in me.
I Bring the glass to my lips, and the distance between: my hand, the glass, my lips, is logically normal despite the illusion presented to meÖ.and the distress kicks in, flooding panic!! ďwhat is this, whats happening to me!!?Ē

Something rationalises within me, and itís a phase i know will pass, maybe a few minutes, maybe hours, maybe a day or two, and all i can do is breath, and wait, and breath and wait.
I calm my panic, and listen to the distress, not acting on it, or heightening it, or adding its drive, just noticing and letting it pass. i hear you, and its strange, confusing, unbalancing me but i am strong and i know the games you play. This trickery wont last on me. An hour passes and i breath, and i feel weight, i feel the distances closing in and i feel the threads beneath my feet, i feel reality and i finally feel free.

be patient, the moment will pass.

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