five months medication free
Posted by littlemissBPD
25th Mar 2014

The last time i took medication was the 3rd of October 2013 and its now the 25th of March 2014, not bad going for someone with some many problems the hospital refuse to admit me for treatment any more. Stated in a discharge letter from July 2013.

Two weeks ago I started back down my dangerous BPD and psychosis path again, it started with staying up all night adding up and subtracting numbers obsessively even though the numbers i used never changed i was never happy with out come, then it led to being convinced my boyfriend was seeing someone else that i got so paranoid i told him i loved someone else and that i needed a break but it ended up that i pushed him so far away he eventually split up with me anyhow, and now i'm at the stage where i go to bed crying and wake up crying and spend most of my day crying, my voices are so bad i cant think straight, my mind is occupied with the thoughts of suicide and death, every time i arrange an appointment i have to phone back two mins later to check what day and time the appointment is for, i have came up with the solution that i need hospital treatment but how is that possible if the Hospital refuse to treat me..............

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