Progress report living with Anxiety
Posted by Heather
20th Feb 2014

Today I thought I would take sometime out to update you of my progress over the past two months. I would be lying if I said everything has been roses, there has been times when I have felt anxious or unmotivated.
Then again there has been plenty more days recently where I have felt a lot more at ease and even confident the way I speak to others.
Wednesday was a bit of a hectic day, I had so much going on. The morning was taken up with reading all the local newspaper and preparing for the radio show, making sure the music tracks were ready to use and the show script was written up. As well as preparing to meet a prospective new client for a cleaning service I had started doing last year. So much to do and yet so little time.
I must admit it felt so good, just to have a real purpose to my day and feel that I had actually achieved something. A few days before I started to worry more and how I would cope surprisingly I did okay

My only issue at the moment is uncertainty, which does create a air of fear in to the mix, as well as the occasional anxious pulse that cuts through your thoughts.
Itís hard to be completely open with your love ones, and I try to be, especially with my best friend and mum when I feel things are too much.
Night time has to be the worse, itís almost like there this huge build-up before bed. I try to make my routine as relaxed as possible, even invested in a Lavender candle to help with this. I have been like this pretty much since my late teens, I get a bit anxious, and thoughts pop into my head that so intense like: how am I going to get through a appointment? Or what if my mum falls ill again?
I do find myself touching the glass of water next to me hundred times, I know it sounds silly, but nothing makes sense with OCD and Anxiety.
I can spot the triggers and I try my best to control the thoughts with happier ones I try to hold on to.
Again my weight is getting to be a problem too. Comfort eating and Iím taking steps to address this by stopping eating crisp and trying to keep away from chocolate.

There is always so much to work on and I am grateful for the support I have received from everyone from family and friends to others going through a similar situation to mine. It takes a lot of guts to stand up and be honest about issues surrounding mental illness, itís not as easy as it sounds. People do change towards you. Your true friends are the ones that make time for you no matter what. Whether itís a quick chat on the phone or a email it all makes a different that persons life and wellbeing.

Even now Iím blogging and being as open as I can, still I get worried how Iím perceived, before I was a shadow in the background, now Iím flying butterfly visible to everyone. The two contrasts is the best way to describe how I was to how I am now.
Last week I actually interviews Joe McElderry the pop star that won Xfactor in 2009 for my radio show. Thatís a massive achievement and great indication at how far I have come in myself. My voice showed nervous, but I kept on going.

I think itís truly remarkable most of the blogs I have read on here, it shows weíll all human beings with our own ways of handling mental health issues. It goes to show weíll not alone. Last year I took the approach of throwing myself into situations perhaps I would never of dreamed of doing, community radio presenting in my case.
In a way I actually found something I absolutely love doing and itís helping me to be more confident and happy. I never take anything for granted and see things a lot more different then I have done.

If you ever find yourselves in need of some good music and chat your more than welcome to listen in to Lindsey At Large my radio show on Wednesday Evening.
All the details can be found on the like page. Feed back and encouragement is always welcome and really keeps me going.

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