Silencing the internal critic and finding forgiveness.
Posted by CML1982
15th Feb 2014

I mentioned in a previous blog about acquiring knowledge and taking action. I made vast improvements by taking action, by applying what I'd learned.

I learned about the internal critic and how to queting this voice. I now manage to do so. I also had a lot of pain from various past experiences. I began to realise that it did not serve me well carrying all this pain and anger around. Instead of avoiding these feelings, and instead of covering them up, I confronted them and dealt with them in a constructive manner.

The Internal Critic
Best description would to say it looks menacing. A shark. Often it would be an enforcer character. It has been people from my past, people who have caused me some harm or people who I've had conflict with. On occasions it's myself. The voice is always loud and brash.

I find a positive aspect to this voice: It can highlight the fact that there are unresolved issues to look at and deal with. It's a kind of guide perhaps, trying to protect.

Negative aspects are that the voice is often brutal, with fierce overtones and extremely destructive at times. These characteristics make the voice difficult to live and deal with.

I learned to use this voice, to recognise negative thought patterns, and unresolved issues. I realised that they are energy. I could utilise them. I could turn them in to a positive by creating with them. An example being writing about troublesome issues. I could question why the critical voice was so loud. I could look in to why the thoughts were occuring. I could choose not to react badly to them. I could decide not to engage with them. I took responsibilty. I learned to challenge and deal with unresolved issues by bringing them to light.

One way of dealing with unresolved issues, for me, was by finding forgiveness. Past events and issues were having a detrimental effect on me. They were blocking me from progressing and living a fulfilling life. Each issue I dealt with in a similar manner. I wrote about events. I noted my feelings and the person(s) involved. I brought everything to light. I found compassion for all concerned. Although some actions aren't justifiable, they are in the past. I accepted events happened. I chose to let go of ill feeling and negativity. I found forgiveness. I was forgiving towards others. I was forgiving towards myself. I looked at every event as a lesson, every person involved as a teacher. I chose acceptance and let go of what I could not change. By doing so, I've been able to use events as experience, put things truly behind me, and move on with my life.

Quieting the critical parts of me and finding forgiveness have both helped me move forward to live a beautiful and flourishing life.

It has been a remarkable journey, and I'd like to thank the great people at The Self Empowerment Academy, Coventry for their help and support along the way.

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