me and my bpd
Posted by blossomdrop
1st Oct 2013

I have always had a lot of "issues" and have generally been able to manage them through my GP despite a lot of traumas in my life including several bereavements and being the victim of a serious sexual assault. I became a mother in May 2005, and think that this triggered off something else as I was so paranoid that some thing would happen to him (I was in a destructive relationship with his father due to his drug and alcohol problems which contribuited to his sudden death in 2007) anyway, I became too unwell so saw my GP who prescribed anti depressants and I have been on them ever since, sometimes the doses change but have now been on them for 8 years and guess what...I feel no better in fact I feel worse! I had a 2 week stay in my local psychiatric unit which did nothing except a new diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder and to be turned away without any follow on care. I felt so alone and still do. I hate the name personality disorder it makes me feel I am a freak! I was given lithium but could only do it for a month as the side effects were horrific so I am back to escitalapram but have been told by a DR it wont help...great! I have asked what practical support I could get and keep getting fobbed off-I need cbt and therapy as I have so many issues I need to deal with and get closure from so I can move on (I don't agree that I have bpd but I do show some traits) I just need to deal with the pain and anger from my past!!! has any one else had a similar experience they could share....I would appreciate any positive feedback as don't know where else to turn and feel so anxious (I have also had depression and anxiety diagnosed by same DR) I have acted awfully at times, hurt people I love and let my family down-I just want to get better because inside here there is a lovely girl trying to get out and live a happy life! this is my first ever blog on anything especially Mental Health but I feel so deperate xxxx


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