All I ask for...
Posted by NGale
7th Jun 2013

All I ask for it someone to listen. I don't want advice, I don't want sympathy. I just want someone to shut up and listen and let me do the talking.

The problem is while people are well intentioned they seem to think that they have to offer 'advice' to you when you are going through difficulties with depression. They think it helps, most of the time it doesn't, it just stops them from listening when all you want to do is talk and let it all out.

Then they say they know how you feel. I hate that expression. I'm sorry but no one knows how I feel, only I know how I feel and even then I don't always know that! Yes they may have had depression themselves, not just 'feeling blue', but their depression is unique to them and no one else knows how it feels. While there are some common traits in the condition everyone feels depression in their own way and no one else can truly understand it.

For me when I'm in a depressed state I want to talk, I want someone to listen to me ramble on for a while and just let me talk. When I'm in a good state of mind, I don't want to talk about feelings and such like, I just want to get on with life and have two way conversations. People just don't seem to understand that, when I say I'm fine it means I really am, but many take the 'I'm fine' line as meaning something it wrong and they press me to talk. If you find that confusing think how I feel!

So why can't people just be silent and listen? Maybe if they did they may actually her something for the first time, but I have a feeling it comes down to the fact that people don't like to be silent, they want to block the words out because they are afraid they might hear something they don't like and that by them talking they can guard themselves against the unsayable.

Please just listen, it's the most potent power you have. Use it!

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