Full circle.
Posted by russell84
29th Mar 2013

I was 5 years old give or take a few years. I can remember then days not the age i was it isnt important really. What i can remember is that smell and that's how i'm really going to start this the smell of stale smoke and disinfection. Roll ups and burn marks on the side of wall only ever cleaned when the need to wipe the blood sick or human waste had called for it. The floor i remember in these Grimm hallways was mostly clean and tidy. The corridor seem to go on and on and on and on until my dad would stir me into the door way of what seemed like a vaulted lock an unfamiliar voice comes through an intercom its a nurse. We are buzzed in a so we are let up two flights of stirs the smell from the corridor of smoke and pine fresh drifting to make way for the smell of old Holbein and sprouts. I small door at the top of the stairs opens and we enter. The long corridor now looks a lot lighter windows on one side and three small rooms on the other the first is a nurses station there are sounds of belly laughing and keys jangling about coming from here. The next is toilet the one after is closed i do not remember ever seeing it open. The in the doorway a figure stands red hair glimmering in the sun thin and pale it mum. The place we were was the Hospital she was in there for her mental health problems namely schizophrenia. A few years ago i was dignosied with depression i regually have panic attacks and nightmares im not able to work and everyday is hard. I have had it hard but the one thing that i know is that you can get through anything if you can stay positive (even the smallest thing) and love and be loved let yourself be loved you are not what it makes you think you are BE LOVED.

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