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Electric Butterflies
Posted by HappyHappyHappy
26th Sep 2012

I haven't written a blog in a while. I write everything down in a little journal I have but I feel very alone at the minute. I am now in my second year at university and not much has changed. I have recently moved into a shared house with some of my good friends, however, I have never felt so alone. It's almost as if I cannot get close to anyone. I don't know why this is. It makes me quite paranoid sometimes. I don't know if it is because I don't go to anyone for help? But no one comes to me any more either. My now ex-boyfriend cheated on me in February, but he still has this massive hold over me. It is very frustrating to feel like a fool all the time. I once dreamed that instead of self harming, these little electric butterflies came and shocked me all over, so it hurt, but there were no scars. I feel like I want to run away or die or something. The feelings are so familiar that it's easy to get caught up in them. It's only the thought of my Mum that stops me doing anything serious. I don't know what to do any more. I am trying to be happy, but I've never known it to be so hard. Has anyone got any suggestions?

I feel so guilty and selfish for feeling like this, when there are people out there much much worse off. Does anyone else feel like this too?

Hope everyone is well.
Love and peace
xxx

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