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Normal life?
Posted by Donski0705
3rd Apr 2012

I get up everyday, I get my child ready for school, I make small talk in the playground, so everyone knows I'm a normal. I get back in my car and drive to work. I put on my uniform and greet the team and act normal. I get ready for the first customer of the day put on a smile and act normal. By the end of the working day I am exhausted with all the acting. My insides are churning, my head is full of dark clouds. From the outside I am the happiest person in the world, depression what's that all about? I collect my child, smile and greet the teachers. My child is my life, I do all this because of her, she deserves a happy mummy. So I give her that she needs a normal life. I feel selfish, I feel guilt, I hate normal me, I hate me. I look in the mirror and feel disgust, normal me isn't pretty, isn't worth nice things, she deserves punishment, she deserves to be on the ground in the dirt. I go into my room my mask slips I sob I lie awake for hours punishing myself for letting everyone down again. I finally nod off to sleep for a few hours. The alarm goes off, I jump out of bed, for another normal day...

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