Posted by bluey67
4th Feb 2021

Hi my name is Leigh and I am here as I'm dealing with mental health issues. My depression has got quite bad recently. All this with covid hasn't helped. I tested positive back in November but had no symptoms, but had to isolate for ten days. That drove me potty as I drive and my partner doesn't. That was a very tough 10 days I can tell you.
I have alot of past trauma that I've never really dealt with. Its made me an insecure person, never liked myself. Low self esteem has always been my downfall. I've never felt good enough. I have been married twice to men. With my first husband I had two sons. The second marriage was on the rebound I guess. I am now in my first ever gay relationship. We have been together just over 5 years now. We were meant to marry last May, but covid ruined that. We were meant to marry this May but the other day I told her I'm not in the right place to marry again. I need to get myself better to enable me to move forward with my life. She took the news badly and yesterday she punched a photo frame which ended up in her having 7 stitches in her hand. I really need to deal with my past as I really want this relationship to work. I still love her and want to be with her. Its just so hard right now as she is going through so many emotions due to my decision. I want to feel better , to release all the hurt/pain from my past. As I know deep down I deserve to be happy and to be loved. And I need to love myself

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