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where did it all go wrong??????
Posted by weallareunique12
24th Feb 2012

silly o'clock , after 2 days of sickness and being bed ridden with nothing to do i find myself in silence, not mentally - mind you !! its that my day is not filled with the day to day tasks which we get along with that enable us to cloud the thoughts that loom when we stay still and just listen.

apparently I have a generalized anxiety disorder, worry worry worry! I think the older I am getting the more I am tired from the 'worrying' and so to hear others worry freaks me out to the extent it makes me short tempered and horrible to people, especially ones who I care about most (probably as I see it as a reflection of myself)

the only time I feel at ease is when I sleep! oh I love to sleep - me and my bed are best friends on good days I have 6 hours of bliss and its all go from then, i occupy myself to the point that im hyper, talking and moving fast - probably how Im able to cope so as i dont have time to think such wierd thoughts, mind you at the time, one after another they dont seem bad but on reflection if I said them out loud i would sound mad!

Mad - such a funny word, I use this so often and refer to myself as it especially to new people before they judge me or think odd thoughts about me , especially new guys i meet, its like I pre warn them "Im mad arent I" or im mad you know you wont want to date me ... doomed to fail before I start

Id love to be calm, my thoughts to remain still, just like water in a pond not rushing to and throw Id love to be able to just go with the flow not expecting the worst

Oh and Id love to be able to be rid of this medication, finally as ive been on most types for 11 years now since I was 17 and where has it got me??????????

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