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Life in pink pyjamas......
Posted by Calendula
6th Feb 2012

Monday, 6 February 2012
Foggy day, foggy brain.....
Yesterday was rather a 'none' day......when I woke up in the morning and looked out of the window, I could see the background of trees shrouded in fog. Just like my mood really....sad and shadowy...great feelings of sadness and regret to overshadow the visit to DD and GS. I was becoming very anxious about the visit even to those I loved so dearly. Got upset with DH about the flow of water from the bath taps in our newly re-furbished bathroom, so much so, that I ended up shouting at him. Even though I had enjoyed a lovely shower, I just imagined the plumbers returning and having to dismantle everything. Bad thoughts seem to build up so quickly with me and are greatly out of proportion to their seriousness. That was it.....I asked...no shouted... to DH to 'phone up and tell them we weren't coming....big regrets and lots of tears later I managed to calm down and stop crying. I often experience the feeling that the person shouting isn't me but someone I'm looking down on....it's not actually me. I slept all afternoon...a kind of escape for me from my feelings. I did a bit of work on this blog later....I so often end up at my laptop listlessly jumping from one social networking site to another, hoping that one day someone might actually have something to say that might be life-changing but I know, in the end, that I am the only one who can change my life with a lot of help from people and places where I know I am understood.
Today has been different again...sun shining and my mood quite calm. I managed to 'phone up the person who co-ordinates the exercise on prescription and make an appointment for tomorrow afternoon and make an appointment through 'choose and book' at my local hospital. So far, so good...I was even up and dressed by 9-15 this morning! Fortunately, I HAVE found lots of people and organisations that can help me on the web and you'll find links to them in the right hand column beside this post. I hope you find them helpful too! :)

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