my thoughts
Posted by cameeonshaw2000
24th Jul 2020

Been a very hard week mentally for myself dealing with personal issues and demon that made me feel depressed and mainly sad, from messages from a random Instagram accounts telling me to kill myself and wishing I'm dead from my brain tumour and lots more that I won't go into detail about just know I have no idea who.

These messages didn't help my mental health as I was waking up every morning scared and expecting a message that hurt and made me feel down for the rest of the day. Now, normally I would pay no mind to these types of thing but most of the messages were about really personal information that not many people know about. Only a handful maybe less.

My mental health isn't amazing but it's ok, I'm struggling with these messages and the things on there are making me just feel dine with everything. Having to go through radiotherapy isn't as easy as I thought it would be as it making me really moody at a time with people and reacting to things that hurt me like these messages are mainly emotional due to the mental state I'm in because of the tumour and radiotherapy.

radiotherapy is a b**** honestly making me feel down most of the day and it may be a miss of my depression too, but I mental feel so tired and restless everything getting to me for no reason and I can't keep emotional calm like I keep losing my temper easier and I've never been like that as most of you would know I'm normally a calm person. I just don't feel like myself and I know personal changes are a side effect od radiotherapy but it's fucking with me more then I thought.

I have other personal stuff going on with these bad messages but I don't think I can chat talk about them at the moment as the police are involved but once it's all cleared up ill make a blog discussing and showing them on here.

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