How can the present be a gift for an overthinker?
Have you ever heard the phrase “Yesterday was history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift that is why it is called the present”?
My mother was the first person who told me it. And from the get go it made me feel really quite guilty if I am being honest. The reason for the guilt is I can never seem to appreciate just enjoying being in the present moment. That is what I thought anyway. That I was ungrateful, for yet another thing. That I just couldn’t appreciate what a great gift the present was and how selfish was I?
Well, not at all I have learned. As with so many things it has taken an age to come to know this, but I wasn’t selfish and I am not selfish now. What I am is an over thinker and an incredibly bad self critic.
I overthink everything. The past. That is a place for me to be so self critical and a major put down. I didn’t do this right. I could have done/said/ been better. I was not a good person for doing that. I was a failure etc.
The future. What if this happens? What if that were to happen? Without a doubt whatever happens it will most definatly come out badly, a disaster and yet another failure.
With all this negative, judging, anxious, worrying, self doubting thoughts there was absolutely no room to enjoy anything let alone the present moment.
It was only when I stopped and really looked at how I treat me that I knew I was not being selfish or ungrateful, I was being far too judging and was suffering anxiety.
I really am getting fed up tho of missing out on something as amazing, wonderful, magical and simple as the present moment.
I am going to be far more aware of how I treat me. Be more observant of all those negative thoughts and emotions, but this time without judging them. This is going to be my first step and I hope the right step into the present moment.
