Clearing the fog
Posted by lettie
15th Nov 2019

Hello I'm colette I am a 41 year old single mum, raising up my 9 year old boy.
I have struggling for depression for over 25 years, I have struggled with eating disorder as a teenage and have been am suicidal, luckly I am still here!
For about 15 years realising that I have a problem with my mental health.
From 7 years old I have lost my dad, and from after look a rolling ball I have been in the middle of some events that has effected me and my family, and of these events come from my mum!!
Last year I had a nervous breakdown, this was the third nervous breakdown. With the behaviour and the flashbacks from my past and nightmares with, I relised was abused, and I what was my mum she is a covert narcissistic abuser. I have 3 brother that 2 do not contact my mum and the youngest behaviour like her. So I had to cut them off my life.
I am research covert narcissistic abuse, so I can understand why and were the origin, so I can heal. Right now I feel confused, guilty, angry, depressed, brain fog, insomnia, anxious and panic attacks depended where I am. I am seeing I psychotherapy after Christmas. I know it will get worse before it gets better.
Right now I in am a lonely place and I am very scared for my future. I have to check myself when I feel I not true when I made it up or assumed to much or going crazy!!!
But I know it's TRUE and its not my fault what happened to me!
But the best thing that happened to me was having my son, he keeps me sane and u make sure that he is never effected what happened to me.
There a thousands of people have been abused, I know it hard but you are not alone!!!
Thinking for reading my blog!!
Good night readers don't get the bugs don't bite!!!

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