Self Worth and Boundaries
Posted by cwmd1
7th Jun 2019

For oh so many years now I have blamed my anxiety on me. I am now starting to learn that mental illness does not in fact come from within, but it is the result of what has happened to us in our lives. This for me is truly a revelation and to be honest I think it is going to take some time to get my head round. This habit that I have of self blame seems to have always been with me and habits, as we know, can sometimes be hard to break. But one way to help has been for me to consistently remind me that every time I go down the self blame route is to affirm that this route is a habit and its time to change routes. Even that small little affirmation stops me in my tracks and helps me to think of the situation for the first time in a different way. This is all very early doors for me and I am very much still learning but it is a real start and I do believe in starts, no matter how big or small.

I have also acknowledged that part of this healing process is to start to build my own sense of self worth. How much self worth do I have? To be honest it ain't much at all, but as I said, I'm starting to work on it albeit slowly. I have read so much about boundaries and how good it is to put boundaries in place where you need them in order to build your self worth and self esteem. I have always thought that they were a great thing for others, but I didn't deserve to put them in for me - until now.

Now this is, again like most things for me, going to take baby steps, but what I have done this week is to start to tell myself that the word no is a sentence, and I have the right to say no if a situation does not suit me, or makes me feel uncomfortable. I have also been more honest with others lately. Before I wouldn't have said anything if that meant I could cause a situation to "rock the boat", but for my own sake I now know I need to start looking out for me, not just be a people pleaser and not just stay silent for a quiet life. I feel for the first time that I really need to look after myself as if I were looking after a friend. We all deserve good self esteem and a real sense of self worth.

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