When Is A Trauma A Trauma?
Posted by cwmd1
30th May 2019

This is a question I have asked myself a lot. I, like many of us, have had some pretty rotten things happen. Being very self critical, I would tell myself each time to "stop feeling sorry for myself" and "other people have gone through a lot worse" and also "you are just weak".

It took time in therapy to understand that not any part of my anxiety has been a sign of weakness, but is in fact a symptom of the trauma that has happened to me and it is ok to accept them as traumatic times.

I do believe that some of us - and I am one of them - tend to be way too hard on ourselves. We don't give ourselves enough credit or compassion if something traumatic happens to us. There is no measurement or book that states what can be classed or not classed as traumatic. We all react in so many different ways in life. What may be traumatic for some, may not be to others and that is ok and it in no way makes the experience any less traumatic for that person effected.

I am beginning to understand (and in so many things, still do not fully comprehend but I'm getting there) that the first step to healing is to accept when something not good happens and to then be a lot more kinder to myself instead of trying to belittle what's happened. I need to have far more self compassion and understanding. How do I do this? I really do believe one of the best things to do is to speak up and talk about it. The next step? Well I am still learning that one. I know it is going to take time but I need to break this habit of dismissing my own feelings of anxiety and replace that with some non judge mental self compassion.

Habits are so difficult to break sometimes aren't they? But we can but try, and that's now a good enough start for me.

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