Me - Go Easier On Me Please!
Posted by cwmd1
17th Feb 2019

I don't know about you, but there are days when the mental illness is ok-ish, and other days when it's really front and centre stage. But you know, the days I find really exhausting are those days when I have to be somewhere that I find really anxious, and not only is the anxiety right there doing jazz hands but I also have to muster up the courage to face whatever the anxious situation is that I am going to be in. Be it either facing a particular person, or a situation or both but my goodness it's tiring isn't it? It is quite literally exhausting.

I find that I am internally so anxious that when the person, or situation or both has arrived I'm so overwhelmed I can't actually take in what is being said or going on and boy does it take a lot not to show that overwhelming feeling on my face (as an afterthought here, and a question from me to me - why hide it? hmm another blog here I think!)! I try to sit there, smiling, trying to look at least outwardly calm while inside, my brain seems to be on a full spin cycle of overthinking, panic and overwhelmed feelings.

What I try and do (and I emphasise here the word try because this is a real work in progress) is to accept that this moment may not be an anxiety led nightmare for some, but for me it is, and that's ok. Yes me, it is ok to accept that is how I'm feeling. And guess what, it is ok if I feel overwhelmed, if I'm feeling this anxious. I really need to stop fighting against my own feelings sometimes and remind me that it really is ok not to feel ok.

I want to learn to start going easier on me, and by doing this I am hoping that is one good step towards managing anxiety.

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