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I feel stuck
Posted by yolo
17th Jan 2019

Over the years my confidence has disappeared to the point where I canít leave the house by myself or whenever I do go out alone my mind races round stupid things like what if I embarrass myself or how many people are looking at me, pointless stuff like that. I left high school because of my confidence I never came in and when I did I dreaded walking through the doors and to the classes I hated all because of my confidence, the weird thing is that by myself I panic and Iím so quiet and scared to speak out but when Iím with friends Iíll be my what I think is my normal self and Iíll be so talkative and confident and Iíll do thinks I couldnít even dream of doing when Iím out on my own Iíve been stuck in the house for weeks now and Iíve been on and off like this for 6 years Iím depressing myself and I keep going back into this cycle of not taking care of myself and feeling bad about it then wanting to do something about it then going back to being a hermit, Iíve read every trick in the book and watched every motivational video I could get my hands on I just seem to be in a constant cycle of fear and I just want to live my life. Iím wanting to go to college but even that seems daunting to me and Iím stopping myself from getting somewhere with my music I canít Even sing in front of family never mind in college Iím scared Iím going to ruin my life with this no matter what I do to try and help myself I never stick to it I want my confidence back I want a life I just donít know how to get there.

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