A big black hole
Posted by
18th Oct 2011

I feel like my head is a black hole at the moment. Dark and destructive and sucking everything in.

No matter how hard I try and keep positive it feels as though I'm being pulled into a depressive state, and there's no point in fighting it. The depression is always going to win, what's the point in delaying it.

3 chest infections in less than 2 months, it doesn't matter what I do I'm never going to be well. I try as hard as I can to keep well; I exercise, I take all my meds and yet I still get ill.

Is this what my whole life is going to be like?

Can I even carry on if this is what it's going to be like. I can't live a life where I'm constantly ill. And I can't do it when I feel like I have to fight for everyone else to believe me.

But most of all I can't do it because I'm not strong enough. I can't face it all with a smile on my face, I can't look on the bright side of everything.

I don't know what I'm doing, where I'm going or who I am.

I've done the one thing I said I'd never do, I've given in.

My blog is:

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