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Beating my mind
Posted by thecrown
8th Dec 2018

my silence depression killer, it's hard to admit am depress it's very easy to bury your mind, thought by comfort eating and binging. I have a condition called silence depression unable to express your real thought, confine to your own thought. everything around me feels false. the only light I see is my daughter, yet that light is not enough to stop my addiction. today I weigh myself am 18 stones, that's scares me, I want to do something about it but my mind is stopping my body, how can I break through from this prison I have created. all I hear is you are fat. I am FAT but I would not admit it. this is the biggest I have weigh. being idle and not working has contributed to this, being a first time nursing mom created room to binge. constant worrying about grandmother has not helped. I want to lose weight, how do I tell my mind that I want to loose weight. I know am not attractive, I spend all my money on food buying nonsense. I am not motivated at all.I need help. am happy but not completely happy.  unable to express myself, scare to ask for help on why I think a certain way, I have to be strong for others but deep down I need help. the smile the laugh are fake as I hide the real feelings inside.

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