Search

Blog

new hope for age old problems.
Posted by
10th Oct 2011

Hello,


I am writing this after a week off from work. I was off sick and are going back soon. I NEEDED to get away from work and all of the stress I have to put up with or I might have well been sectioned, yes it got that bad that I thought I would need to be in a ward/unit for a while. Thoughts of suicide and harming myself were rife within my inner self. I found a new way of dealing with all of the stress and have discovered that the job I do is TOTALLY wrong for me and I should be working with Animals. I am a healer. I was born with this gift and even to other people who won't believe this when I say it now, I have finally unlocked all of the pain I have felt whilst dealing with life with Bi- Polar and all of the other medical illness's I have.

Being with Animals makes me feel calm and happy. They do not judge you or make you feel worthless.
I have a ginger tom called Tommy (named after the Who's Rock Opera). He chose me and I healed him from some awful lumps and bumps he had.
In return he gives me love and respect. Something only My Husband gives me. I don't have much to do with my other family as they only seem to get in touch to find out about my mum. I always have to call them. I have a few good friends.. most of them have to deal with Mental Health issues themselves so that can be challenging too when I am dealing with my own. But they have a higher understanding of who I am and what I have, so that's cool.
I have 'highs and lows' and the lows can and do make me wonder why I am here and why I haven't died yet. Morbid I know, but I guess I have a greater reason as to why I am here and that Animals need me.

Mental illness is not something that is easily excepted by people who don't have it. They have no understanding of how the mind works in these matters and when someone suffers an episode or crisis it is really hard to communicate how that person feels to another person. They last thing for me to hear when I go though is ' how are you' or how do you feel'. Questions like that just make me feel worse and don't help. I have been bullied and abused most of my life and I feel at times 'Hey I survived that and I am ok and it won't happen again'. But it does and I am left feeling an OUTCAST and unwanted. I will be ok as I sit here stroking Tommy and thinking you know I am worth more than this. I am like all who reads this Human and I have a right to express myself too.

ty.

Nicola

Share Email a friend Be the first to comment on this blog