A family reunion - Adopted at 2 to meeting my family 29years later
Posted by seanmac
29th Aug 2018

I was 2 when I was adopted, before then I just have reports on how my childhood was, my Dad committed suicide, and 3 weeks later my mum decided to put us in care, it was clear my birth Mum didnít really want me, and decided to stay with her new BF who was hurting me over leaving him and keeping us.
About 2 months I decided I wanted to know who I was, so I contacted some people on my Dad side of the family, and while sending messages I didnít expect a response, but I got one and it just ran away probably quicker than I thought it would.
So the weekend just gone my wife and I went to go meet them and it was beautiful, meeting my Nan and grandad was pure bliss, meeting my Sister I didnít know existed was superb and what a beautiful person she is and meeting my aunt and uncles was just pure emotion and one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Describing the emotions, I have been feeling are difficult one being JOY I have been over come with emotion of finding my blood family, I canít begin to put in words what it feels, and this is where GUILT comes in, as I have the most amazing adopted family they are my Mum, Dad and Brother but the feelings I have right now are pure bliss, knowing these people are your blood relatives is just pure joy, but that comes with guilt as my adopted family are who raised me and made me who I am today, but that was at no fault of my birth family on my Dad side, they didnít know much about what happened to me after my Dad died and my birth mother kept them away.
I also have the fear now of if we donít meet again, right now my heart hurts I am back home and I have a fear of if that is it, its not rational but it is there, it happened 29 years ago so why wont it happen again is what my head keeps telling itself.
The hardest part was visiting my dads grave and talking to him, he probably never heard me talk, but I just had to say hello, I wanted to let him know I loved him and forgive him as I have blamed him lots for leaving, but now experiencing my own daemons I want him to know I know how hard it is and how I understand how he must have felt and that it was cool and I hoped he was looking down on his family reuniting and smiling. Seeing my name on his grave gave me the biggest lump in my throat I canít begin to describe it.
I am sitting here crying writing this and it one of joy and sorrow, sorrow that I didnít get to talk to you but joy as I have a new arm of my family, no one can take my adopted family away from me but I can add to my family and I have and itís the best feeling in the world.

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