Living with Depression
Posted by calm&steady
3rd Oct 2011

So, I've been suffering from depression since I was 16, I'm now 26. I had my first psyhotic breakdown at 16 and I did not get the help that I needed. I continued at school but I was barely able to concentrate for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. Hence, my shool work suffered, but more devistatingly, I suffered. I suffered with the shame and guilt of mental illness for years because I didn't want anyone to find out. I just wanted to be "normal" like everyone else. I felt socially phobic - I was paranoid people were talking about me behind my back all the time. I didn't get along with many of the girls at school - they all just seemed so different. So happy. Why couldn't I just wake up in the morning and be happy like them? I was put on 2 different types of anti-depressants but they only made me feel worse. I've gone on and off medication since then and surprisingly I find that I still have a stigma about taking medication. I am just about to seek propper psychiatic help. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but something has to change. I know that happiness does exist, as does the relief in owning up to how I feel. Its a chemical imbalance, not something that I have caused. Here goes...

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