My Journey through depression. Men's health. It's ok not to be ok!
Posted by danbuck
8th May 2018

This is my first blog on Sane, I have been doing a for over a month now in the hopes people read it and relate so they then know they are not alone, not only to support other people about my journey through depression but to also help me actually get through the ups and downs I go through daily.

Tuesday 8th May.

It's easy to read a blog and move on, I have bee  doing this on others to help me as much as possible then after a few reads pass by it, something i am really working hard on to keep reading blogs to help me and follow other journeys like mine it's just my concentration level is really low so much so today I am not driving my car.

In fact I am not doing much, I feel lost, low, tired, sad, the list can go on and on. I am struggling with my list of chores so will try to go for a simple walk soon but I have been delaying that for a few hours now. It's just so so hard, hard to accept, hard to understand, hard to express.

My anxiety level is sky high, I feel guilty for not doing my chores, I know I will be told it does not matter but it's hard to accept.

I nearly deleted the last few paragraphs as I managed to force myself out and do some chores it was extremely tough and no I do not feel better for it but I have done it. I am going to relax for the rest of the day and hope my mood lifts.

Well its not 17.15pm and it's not lifted and I am trying to persuade myself to get my running gear on and go for a run but I am just sat here. I wish I prepared my running gear yesterday it would have been easier to reason with myself. I am now waiting for julia to come home to chat and then see if I can do it.

Julia got home and we had a little chat but mainly I pushed myself really hard to get out for a run. Did I want too hell no but I knew deep down I had too had to keep going till my mood lifted. On the run I did more than I could imagine, I ran further and faster and managed to lift myself not fully but enough. It was tough but as I kept pushing myself using old methods from my personal training team at bodytorq. (Thanks by the way) I managed to give it that extra 10% and pushed myself to the limit and I feel much much better especially after a shower.

I always write my blog in real time as my mood changes quite a bit and my reactions do so I hope people understand this when they read my journey.

I am now resting my legs and having plenty of fluids.

I've  had a chat with Julia and we agree a run in the morning may be the way forward to lift myself before I really get into a state I can't get out of. Something I will start on Thursday this week.

Remember it's ok not to be ok as long as you talk to someone.

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