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What no one tells you about mental health pt1
Posted by hays
22nd Apr 2018

I've suffered with mental health, for many years been given official terminology of what type I've got, have loads of names blasted at you and to be honest just makes you feel worse because your now have been name tagged.

Knowing that medication, doesn't really help but because want be right deep down you continue to fight the never ending battle.

The feelings of not been able to connect with yourself and the outside world. Every moment that ticks you think your whole world is going to crash into millions of pieces.

It doesn't really matter, how long you've suffered because always feels as though your in learning mode, whilst everyone around you is advanced with there life, because they don't experience the down falls you do.

Everyone has mental health realistically, and lots medical terms come with it if your diagnosed but on facing been two different people is major heartache I face myself personally.

I wake up from one day to the next, not knowing of whom I'm going to be today, my mood, who I am, what I do is life changing for the short periods this occurs I love it. I wish I could be this person all time, I feel life maybe slightly more forward then what it is just been the boring

Many people seem think, oh there just faking it for some attention, but no one knows what goes on in any ones head, all the misinformation, stigma and lack empathy.

I sit and think to myself, what did trigger it off ?

Am i at fault ?

Was I meant be like this ?

I had everything planned

Was it something what happened in my past ?

I do wish I knew the reality of why, and I wish I could go back and make changes and be what I want to be deep in my heart, I try everything within NHS resources, I've even signed up for some private therapy nothing does seem help at this moment time.

I plan make huge lifestyle changes but things get in the way hold me back, anxiety is a huge nightmare and can be unbearable, heart racing so fast that I think I'm going to drop down and die, don't get me wrong I have them days were just wish maybe it would be best, not wanting upset anyone but I'm saying now how it affects me and life.

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