another diagnosis
Posted by jillywhy
12th Sep 2011

for the past 3 years i have suffered with various mental problems my first diagnosis was post natal depression, then i had bi - polar and recently i was diagnosed with B.P.D and its completly flipped my life i dont feel im good enough for anybody my kids or husband, i feel all who try to get close to me only do it for there benefit and inevitably they will leave because everyone leaves, i struggle with my mental health teams as the people i see keep changing and this leaves me confussed and frustrated and not trusting not that i trust anyway. im not big on talking yet the only threapy they will offer me is talking threapy and i get that freaked out ,panicky and generally wound up before hand that when it comes down to discussion i just shut off because i dunno , i just dont feel comfortable and i guess theres a part of me that says ,they dont know how i feel it changes on a daily basis, and if i struggle to explain everything that goes on in me how could they possibly get it.
I never envisioned my future as this, i often describe myself as holding on to thin air just waiting to slip and it scares me how quickly it took hold and how it doesnt seem to want to let go as quickly.

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