Light at the end of the tunnel!
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3rd Sep 2011

Like many other members of Sane I was a victim of sexual abuse for several years by my grandfather and an uncle. My grandfather was a well respected member of the community who was used to ruling the household and his authority was never questioned, so I accepted the abuse and was afraid to tell my mother. The problem was made worse by the fact that it was during the war and as my father had joined the RAF my mother took us to live at the grandparents house to avoid bombs.

It is only now so many years later that I realise the damaging effect this sexual abuse had on my life as I constantly lacked confidence and had difficulty making friends.

The turning point came when forty years later I was drawn by a powerful inner feeling to learn to heal people so I joined the NFSH and did the two years training course. This lead to me meeting many patients who had suffered depression, suicidal tendancies, guilt, self harm and experienced difficulties shaking off illness,so a pattern emerged which made me aware that sex abuse had far reaching effects which were not commonly known.

During this time I developed my psychic ability and found I could clear homes of geopathic stress which is a negative energy that rises from deep underground and can weaken the immune system of anyone sleeping above these lines. This powerful negative energy is sometimes present in the homes of people who suffer from depression and other illnesses. You often hear someone saying "Ever since I moved to this house I seem to have had one illness after another" or "I've tried everything and nothing seems to work". These can be signs that the building has geopathic stress.

After several years of doing this work I found that I could clear earthbound spirits from buildings and had an urge to write a book about this fascinating subject, I then moved on to write two books about dowsing for health problems and began to realise that the dreadful experiences we have in life at the time seem a nightmare but we come out of it emotionally much stronger.

One day I was sitting on the beach and mentally wondering what subject to choose for my next book when a voice in my right ears said very clearly "Child Sex Abuse". I was very surprised by this information as although I had been sexually abused as a child I had never discussed the subject with any friends or members of my family, in fact, I had never even confided in my husband. It was a subject locked away in the back of my memory. Having been given this clue I decided to sound out six of my girlfriends to hear their reaction and I was astonished to learn that five of them had experienced abuse. One close friend had been abused by her father who had gone to jail, one was raped by a market trader, another had been married to a paedophile and so the stories were revealed.

The event which made me realise there was a need for this book to be written occured when I was attending a writers group and mentioned to the members that I intended to write a book on child sexual abuse as I understood that roughly one in every four women whould experience some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime. Well, I received a violent reaction from two of the men in the group, as the one sitting opposite me reacted violently and stated he had been with dozens of women and would have known if any of them had been sexually abused! His reaction was so violent that I felt the force of his energy which hit me on my solar plexus. The second man who is a retired police inspector smiled and said "Oh it's a lot of poo hooey!" These reactions made me aware that there was indeed a real need to write a book to lift the veil of secrecy.

I got great satisfaction from writing this book as I wanted it to be a handbook to help victims, teenagers and anxious parents who needed answers to the many questions uppermost on their mind. Researching the book helped me to heal and gave me an insight into the mental damage done by sex abuse and that it can be linked to many cases of suicide, depression and post traumatic stress.

Having written the book I then could not find the right title, as I did not want a sexy title which would make the wrong people purchase the book, equally I did not want a frightening or depressing title, so I had a real problem. In desperation I visited a local medium for help and as soon as I sat down in his office he said he was being told that I wanted the name for a book. To my astonishment he said "the spirit helpers are giving me the name of the book ". so Tears and Fears was born and possibly I will write a follow-up book next year as it is so important to spread awareness of this enormous subject.

I could not have written a book on this form of abuse unless I had been a victim so this is a case of out of bad comes good.

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