Happiness by Janet
Posted by SANE
4th Sep 2017

I am happy now, but it wasn’t always so.  After many traumatic childhood experiences, I developed Dependent Personality Disorder.  After being told by my mother so many times that there was something “psychologically wrong” with me when I disagreed with her way of doing things, I believed that I was not capable of making my own decisions.  I looked for people to tell me what to do and there was no shortage of them.  Maybe it would have been all right if the men had been kind, but they were not.  They were abusive, controlling and manipulative.

It did not make me happy.  I longed to do the things I wanted to do, say what I wanted to say but I was too afraid of being rejected or abandoned.  Then my mother died.  Being free from her criticism, I gradually learned to be independent and to believe in myself.   

Life got better but there was still one thing missing from my life.  I had never had a good relationship with a man.  Then I met Emil from the Philippines, a most caring and unselfish man, who poured love into me as if I was a dry well.  He is no longer alive, but the thought of him and the wonderful times we had together, fills me with happiness.

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